We spent a couple of hours on Skype last night catching up with our son Liam, his wife, & baby Ryan who is now 5 months old (can’t believe it). We still haven’t met little Ryan in person cos dad’s based in Germany…
Anyway they’re all supposed to be coming over here in summer when Liam’s got some leave, but we don’t know any dates yet…
How’s this for being inquisitive then…? (Bless)
HUGGGS xxx
We were just on our way back from the dumpout palace this aft as the sun shone down on the (occasionally) righteous, when this Boeing 747 flew over on it’s way across the Atlantic – the 4 vapour trails give it away…
So I took these stunning photos & was only going to post the one but sod it, if you find plane photos boring look away now…
Wow, I like the way the plane itself almost appears translucent in comparison to the vapour trails…
Anyway back at the dumpout palace it was a very “pleasant pumpout” indeed cos while the extractor thing was erm, extracting, nearly everyone off our pier came along for a chat for various reasons…
Steve was going to Tesco so we gave him our shopping list (well he did ask…), in fact several other people joined in requesting various items from their own shopping lists too. He also got a request to go clean someone else’s boat when he got back…
Dave was a gentleman & got some coal for someone else, whilst also replacing the bag he nabbed off Steve last week…
I started cleaning the side of the boat at some point, but gave up due to the sheer numbers of people traffic dropping by for a visit - which was much more interesting than mooching about with a squirty thing & a duster. I asked Mark the Spark & his bag of rubbish if he’d like to continue the cleaning ceremony for me while I went to put the kettle on…? And got an extremely polite reply which went: “I’ve only got one word to say, it’s got 4 letters & ends with – OFF” the word OFF is written in shouting mode because at least 3 of us cottoned on to it before he’d finished & joined in…
Then our good friends Mark & Liz arrived, they’ve been away for a couple of weeks so we had a tea party on the back of the boat, which started at just about the same time as the extraction process finished…
Meantime Steve came back with our offline Tesco order (ok it was just some semi-skimmed milk) but it’s the thought that counts…
So we had a party “without a plan” that lasted over 2 hours, (good job nobody else’s tank was running over), hence the title of my next book will be:
“How to make the most of a good pumpout at the sani-station with friends & without effluenting influencing people…”
Ok then, no one’s going to admit to being that daft (?) But there’s so many appliances we all have to remember these days – even on a flippin’ boat, there’s every possibility that at least one of them gets forgotten about. For us it was the alarm clock – fortunately it doesn’t matter a jot because we hardly ever use the dam thing. But it still took us till 4pm to notice…
So while we’re on the subject of time differences we sat down to eat tea & watch last Wednesdays “The Boat that Guy fitted out built.” If you’ve already seen it you’ll know all about the beans disaster zone & the mass of goo it turned into. There’s me trying to eat spag bol just at the same time they were sat on top of the boat laughing their heads off - which had a knock on effect & set me off tittering too. Which meant that at the same time they were spitting out gone off beans I got a piece of mushroom stuck in my throat & almost choked. I tell ya Dave was on alert & ready to do the Heimlich manoeuvre – well I think he was, well I hope he was…
And in another time warp kinda way I’m just about to sit down & watch Dancing on Ice in delay TV, on the fancy box thing that records a whole series of your fav TV programs just by pressing a button once. And it even has a nice cup of tea ready & waiting when it hears us getting up of a morning.
Why watch it in delay? Well you can just wiz thu the adverts. So in effect I’m going back to yesterday’s time zone till I catch up with todays.
Complicated or what…?
Do any fellow boaters know if certain small areas of the inland waterways are licence free for canal boats? Not that I’m looking for such a place! But I heard about {somewhere} where that is the case. I’m not a whistle blower so I won’t say where, except it’s part of a canal that’s owned by British Waterways, & it’s supposedly legal. But I’m not sure how that works, maybe it’s something to do with who owns the land, there must be some explanation but I can’t think what. By the way, this has no connection with boaters who just don’t pay, moor up anywhere (illegally) & get away with it. So I’m just curious…
I was reminded of this minor mystery when the BW “police” (well that’s what they look like nowadays) came round the other day checking on the easy targets in marina’s as usual. Must be a nice day out that, sod going down the towpath where they should be looking – they might get the hi-vis kit muddy or even turn an ankle.
Said kit must cost a fortune - not to mention all the hi tech gadgets attached to their whereabouts. We only noticed this change of wardrobe last year, ie; the system was already cash strapped, so whatever happened to priorities? I mean why not just give them a pair of overalls for goodness sake, personally I think all the gear they wear is about as relevant to the job as wearing a dinner suit & matching dickey bow…
Anyway getting back to the original question, does anyone know how that works…?
Now I know this here dead plant might not be such a big deal, but it was supposed to be a “hardy” plant – hardy har har…
Which reminds me, it’s only March & the others need watering… It’s been the “driest” winter on record (apparently snow doesn’t count) so look out for the Leeds Liverpool being drained again this summer, boat licence fees? They should be paying us…
After my little rant yesterday about the incompetence & corruption concerning British Waterways FAT cats I read this morning that Robing Robin Evans the “BW chief exec of silly ideas & money for nothing,” recently announced:
[Quote courtesy of Towpath Talk] ““We are now in a 90 day consultation and, although difficult decisions about redundancy cause uncertainty, I am committed to making changes as quickly as possible wherever possible. We knew the next 3 years were going to be difficult & in preparation, we have already done a lot to control our costs. However the impact of the financial climate on our commercial income, the pressures on our pension scheme, & now a cut in our public funding mean we have to reconsider plans. This means making the difficult decision to reduce numbers of staff & spend less on major waterways repairs.””
I told him about all this ages ago but it appears he’s only just realised… It also appears that 2012 has now been put back to 2015,, [quote] “”spending on major repairs will be reduced for the next 3 years, priority being given to my wage packet the most pressing projects.””
I’ve only got one thing to say to this dipstick – STOP BLAMING ANYTHING & EVERYTHING & PUT YER HANDS IN YER DEEP POCKETS THEN, oh, and pass the same message on to your cronies…
So the photo above sorta gives a visual interpretation of what BW looks like right now…
PS: I wasn’t going to get into this subject again – so it’s the dead plant’s fault…
How would that work? Well it wouldn’t would it…
Sell off all BW property
Sell off all BW working boats except for 2, one up north, one down south, only to be used for boat shows, (PR value)
Forget dredging anywhere else at all – very problematic for the boaters who want their boat to float
Throw even more money at the Liverpool Link in advance of the boat show that nobody’s going to, which also goes for the one in London
Repair replace no more than 3 pairs of lock gates & repair rebuild 2 bridges per annum, sod swing bridges for the foreseeable future – very problematic for the boaters but they don’t matter
Then RE repair all of the above cos the jobs weren’t done properly in the first place - very problematic for the boaters but they don’t matter
Allow rotting trees to exist die & wait for them to fall onto a passing boat / boater – very dangerous for the boaters but they don’t matter
Encourage speedster cyclists to take over the towpaths – very dangerous for the boaters but they don’t matter
Allow dog walkers to let their animals run amock off a lead – potentially very dangerous to moored up boaters but they don’t matter
Allow fishing matches to take place in areas especially created for boats to moor up
Allow the canals to fall into overwhelming disrepair with lock gates leaking gallons of water per day & then blame the water companies when canals run dry – very problematic for the boaters but they don’t matter. Also very problematic for canal side businesses but they don’t matter either
Close any canal side services for boaters that don’t work properly anymore rather than repairing them. eg.water points, pumpout / laundry facilities – basic requirements for travelling boaters that are supposed to be covered by the licence fee we all pay
Put the licence fee up regardless – not fair on boaters but that doesn’t matter
Use luminous orange netting to hold back potential collapse of canal banks which can then be ignored, & do the same for partly collapsed bridges – dangerous to boats but they don’t matter
Allow stretches of canals to be used as rubbish tips & don’t do anything about it – dangerous to boats but they don’t matter
Out of sheer desperation make it look convincing & attempt to improve the reputation of those in charge of the waterways with clever PR, (Pretty Ridiculous), whilst at the same time cover up the corruption behind the scenes. Too late, we all know how much Robin Evans & his crony’s are paying themselves per annum
THEN go cap in hand to various charitable associations who’ve got their own problems to deal with
Come up with a package of ideas that sounds good to the plebs (but could only work in a fairy tale), then leave it another 2 years before doing anything about it, meantime Robin Evans & co keep the same salary
This grand plan hasn’t even had the permission to go ahead yet from the (also corrupt) EU. Talk about putting the cart before the horse
Then there’s Mr Evans asking us to go out & work voluntarily on the canals while he sits on his backside outside his villa in the Caribbean sipping Sangria & swinging from his hammock. I say this because this guy has got nothing to do till at least 2012 & is getting paid half a million per annum for doing sod all during that time… Except for the odd PR stunt of course. So why is he allowed to get away with this when that extortionate amount of money could be spent trying to save small parts of the canal system
And then he’s making people redundant too
I’ve likened all their PR crap about the future of the canal system as similar to that of someone buying a plot of land, starting to build a house whilst waiting for planning permission & relying on hope it will go thru
Have I forgotten anything here? OH silly me, all this has already happened…!
Barry is a friend of ours who wanders the towpaths of the northern canals taking hundreds of photos & uploading them to Picassa Web Albums…
He sent us the album he’d compiled a couple of days ago, very interesting, there’s 3 photos of Takey Tezey in there somewhere, but alas us 2 weren’t there to do the posing thing. Perhaps Barry thought it best to wait till we’d gone out & then come out from behind his tree, very sensible that…
He also adds high quality written content about his travels with descriptions of each photo on every album. It’s all very well put together & his blog has links to the canal / boaty albums he’s created. History of the canal system is his speciality, not a boater himself but he knows his stuff…
I gather it was sometime last week Barry peddled round these ‘ere parts on his bicycle, & as it turns out he did a tour of the marina too…
I got a request whilst in the pub the other night to tart it up a bit (alright, do a makeover), so I have…
During my recent fun & games amidst the land of noughts & ones I changed the blog template I’ve used for years cos it had a problem, which in turn caused me a problem – so the only answer was to put it down pull it down. I then changed it to one of the boring original blog templates for beta testing purposes only, it failed but never mind.
Next on the agenda: Health & Safety took over as brain cell overload set in, so in a last ditch attempt to get somewhere (not sure where exactly) I changed it back to one of the new templates. Alright it was a bit drab but it cured the problem, the question was - would it stay that way if I started assing about with colours & backgrounds…? Are you still awake…?
Well, 2 days later its off the critical list & appears quite stable which means it could even be the final version. Then again nothing’s guaranteed where I’m concerned, so Service Pack 1 is on standby JIC…
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A couple of other changes that may have gone unnoticed over the past couple of days include the moon being 5000 miles closer to earth on Saturday night than it usually is (on any night) creating a “Supermoon” effect… On our way to the pub that same night there were no clouds & the sky was clear - it didn’t look any bigger just brighter. However, for some strange reason it was totally out of focus on the way back…
As you probably know, yesterday was the March Equinox, OFFICIALLY THE FIRST DAY OF SPRING, woo hoo…! So I’m only a day late with this news & found a very detailed report on it here. However, be warned it may take another day to read it (2 days late), another day to understand it (3 days late) & another day in bed asleep to recover…
I always thought the March Equinox was the time that the day & the night lasted exactly as long as each other, turns out it isn’t – ah well, give me 24 hours of sunshine instead…
Amendment: Oops, well I did say I couldn’t confirm the details were correct, one of me little pals who reads the blog came round this morning to let us know the swan hadn’t been shot, even tho we all know it happens that would’ve been a first for round these ‘ere parts. The real story is that they were either mating & the female didn’t like it or the male swan just simply lost it & got overly aggressive, (or both) which is a bit over the top (excuse pun). The female tried to get away by clambering up some pilings breaking her leg in the process… Nature at its worst, no wonder he looks forlorn, perhaps he feels guilty too…
Tony the Mop also appeared this morning, he likes to subtly announce his presence by pressing his nose up against the lux con & making a noise similar to that of a very loud fart… Anyway he suggested we buy a remote control plastic swan complete with an engine & a rudder as a companion for the guilty swan… Typical Mop, “the problem solver,” he has an answer for everything & none of them make any sense…
I’ve noticed several words of wisdom get repeated a lot every week, it’s quite fascinating really. Here’s last weeks episode stats:
Hek = 16 times
By hek = 7 times
Flippin hek = 4 times
Chief = 6 times
Heky thump – once
It also appears to be getting a bit silly in parts, surely this series should’ve been more aptly named:
“Guy visits the things that other people built.”
Yes, I think that would be much more appropriate considering the facts:
In this weeks episode the boat itself was filmed for all of 2 minutes out of 30. And considering he needed a clock, (separate alarm clock) & mattress, why didn’t he just go to Matalan & spend time saved working on the boat…? No need to go into detail but the same principle could be said for each episode so far…
Also, about that alarm clock, well not only was it OUTsize, it was mounted OUTside the boat on the roof (WHY?). It would also go rusty over time (scuse pun) & seize up, it could also impede vision while driving the boat. And imagine being moored up next to him in a nice quiet spot (horrors), to be woken up at 6am by the boating equivalent of Big Ben. As for the OUTsize clock for inside, I always thought space & practicality was of a premium on a narrowboat… There just seems to be so much content in the program that hasn’t been thought thru very well with relevance to working on the boat itself – as the title of the series implies…
Heky thump chief, does he know anything about boating besides the industrial revolution that was just the start of it…? I mean our history in being at the forefront of the industrial revolution was awesome, but by hek, the program’s got the wrong title…
We heard a very sad story yesterday, apparently one of the 2 swans that visit the marina regularly has been shot dead out on the canal. The RSPCA rescued (the female) but couldn’t save it… I can’t confirm the details are correct because we didn’t witness it, or even know about it – but we had noticed one of the swans was on its own which is most unusual…
This photo is from last year, Samson & Delilah sat on their nest out on the canal…
And here’s Samson now, all alone, looking lonely & forlorn…
Lost without his mate…
What kind of cretin could do something like that…?
The sun comes out & so does the fisherman…
Uh Oh, he saw me…
Droops oops, I only bought these yesterday…
The flowers at the other side have faired better but not by much, “guaranteed 7 days” it said on the wrapper, typical Tesco…
Police helicopter in a rush…
There were 2 of them, plus a low flying duck…
Fishing, flowers, helicopters & a duck, it’s a diverse mix if I say so myself, except for one thing – BLUE sky…
After I’d told you about my debarcle with the “Happiness Engineers” at WordPress on Tuesday, I sent my “unhappily engineered” reply email roughly based on that blog post…! And to my amazement I received a happy email from Andrew the Happiness Engineer today telling me he’d cancelled the domain name & refunded my money… I got the impression it was a highly unusual turnaround, so I’m guessing they got so sick & fed up of me making them feel unhappily engineered - they thought sod it let’s get shut… Either way I’m happy & will let them know about it with a smile…
So with ref to my new found talent I wrote a brief booklet today called “How to create online cheer & success for your friends who may be going thru similar cyberspace hassle.” As it turns out the title is longer than the booklet itself, but never mind. No Happiness Engineers were harmed or even required in the making of this beta version of a best seller…
Note: I’m about to change my Anti-Virus suite, so be prepared for a www. meltdown later on this evening…
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A SMILEY observation: I saw this sticker on the back of a car yesterday which read:
I’m not drunk, I’m just avoiding the potholes…
Simple but effective satire that…
Let me introduce you to Sinbad the stowaway…
Who’s busy outside the lux con front screen, (that’s spider central in summer) constructing his new abode. Must’ve thought he’d get in there first & avoid the crush…
Big mistake, he he…
On my return from cyberspace last week I got a nasty surprise, I’d paid £25 for a web address from WordPress which I haven’t used & don’t intend to thanks to the complexities involved with their own system & lack of assistance. Since then there’s been secret negotiations going on by email with a Wordpress “Happiness Engineer” (titter) about a refund. Believe it or not that’s an “official” title – not one I’ve made up, well there’s no need to is there when it’s that ludicrous? In fact I really don’t think I could’ve topped that for entertainment value…
I can only imagine the title of the “person” who’s paid around £200,000 a year just to come up with such inane job titles, perhaps they’re computer generated or perhaps he / she is. I mean they could pay me to do that job, I could even come up with silly names for each item of office furniture too. Remember the “Ministry of silly walks?”
The first job title I’d rename would that of the toilet cleaner, he / she could be the new Controlled Effluence Officer or CEO of the company. And in an effort not to get bogged down with this new responsible name I’d issue a custom made throne to keep the new CEO happy. Said throne would be installed within the confines of the upgraded storage cupboard which would be renamed “The hilarious cleaning products & mop office.”
Anyway, back to the emails with the Happiness Engineer, it’s made fascinating reading, not only did I feel like I was talking to a teaching assistant in a primary school, the level of intelligence seems to be on a par with it. After some discrepancy about which email address I’d sent originally. I was asked to supply the correct “key code” I’d been issued – from the same email address as the original, which I duly did. At this point I was under the impression that my refund was imminent, then I got this reply - which proves Tiffney can officially be renamed the “Stupid Engineer.”
“Hi Heather,
Thanks for sending the API key. Now that your identity's been verified we can discuss your options. Your original message was sent on March 10, and your domains were purchased on March 7. Unfortunately this puts you right outside the 48 hour limit that we have for canceling domain registrations.
http://en.support.wordpress.com/domain-mapping/cancel-domain/
I'll be unable to issue you a refund for takeytezy.net. Would you still like it canceled, or would you like to keep it as it is bought and paid for?
Best,
Tiffney
Happiness Engineer”
Ok then, let’s play happy families & note the highlighted errors in the email above:
My subtle reply went like this:
“Hang on a minute you're the "Happiness Engineer" aren't you? When I read the terms & conditions (which I did) it said "14 day money back guarantee if you decide to cancel" I checked it out - twice. I've paid for something I can't cancel within 3 days while I worked my ass off to set up your WordPress software & gave up??? Give me a break - there's a 7 day cancellation period with anything bought online...
YES CANCEL THE DOMAIN NAME. I won't be using it again But I still have the right to a refund…
Heather”
I was tempted to write “Best Heather” there but didn’t lower myself to it.
This morning I received this from a male Happiness Engineer called Andrew, I gather Tiffney gets unhappy & can’t cope when she doesn’t live up to her title…
“Hi,
You purchased the takeytezey.net domain name on March 7th, 2011. As we state here:
http://en.support.wordpress.com/domain-mapping/cancel-domain/
"You may completely cancel a domain name purchased through WordPress.com if you notify us within two days of purchase."
Since you contacted us after the first 48 hours we are not able to cancel the domain nor refund the money. If you saw a 14 day cancellation policy somewhere could you please send a link to that information?
At this point the domain cannot be refunded nor cancelled. You're welcome to use it with any other web host by updating the nameservers as we describe at:
http://en.support.wordpress.com/domain-mapping/domain-management/#update-nameservers
If you have any further questions feel free to reply to this thread.
Best,
--
Andrew | Happiness Engineer | WordPress.com”
In total contrast to Tiffney (who asked if I wanted to cancel - thereby giving me a choice), Andrew here prefers to spread happiness by informing me that I cannot cancel… Now the thing is I haven’t replied yet, I’ve found a 15 day cancellation period (sod 14) if suspicion of fraud was mentioned. It was right after this purchase that the bank put a stop on my bank card cos someone was trying to erm, illegally borrow it. The next time I tried to use it was to buy hosting from a company recommended by WordPress (number 1 in their list). End result? They tried to stuff me too, according to the bank by around £300 in 4 separate transactions…
What has a WordPress Happiness Engineer done for me?? Given me nothing but STRESS. So I’m about to engineer an unhappy email to the Happiness Engineer & believe me there’ll be no holds barred…
Well the nesting season is upon us, so it must have something to do with us women feathering the nest in spring or something. This morning after I’d got up, but before I was awake, the curtains came down & got shoved in the washer… Just the bedroom one’s for starters, it was a JIC thing cos knowing my luck they’d all come out the size of a postage stamp…
I got lucky, but there was no way they were going in the drier, so this was my ingenious solution…
And I don’t do ironing either, so I let the sun do it for me. Oh & the window opposite looks the same as this one so I won’t bore you with yet another curtain call…
Blinded by the light? Well they’re waiting for the linings to be done, ok then, re-done cos before we got Cyril the Squirrel all the condensation used to collect in the bedroom windows. So even tho they’d dried out ages ago they were too manky & after careful removal got dumped in the bin, he he…
PS: An informant told me earlier today there was a duck egg on the end of the pier, I was going to take a photo of it & wish you all Happy Easter, a bit early I know, but it’s been Easter in the shops since Christmas. Anyway when I got there someone must’ve bazzed it in the water, so Happy April Fool’s day instead. Well it’s almost upon us you know & guess what – that’s the day we have to pay our mooring fees…
And it seems I’ve sprung a leak cos I can’t stop going to the loo today – must be that scientific experiment I did last night, start off on the white wine, & move on to red about half way thru the evening… But never mind, the sun is out, I’m sat in the lux con, the gongoozlers are a gongoozling & Dave’s watching rugby (Yawn).
See, I told you it was sunny, altho the moon was in this photo when I took it but it’s disappeared…
And this ere cloud thinks it’s a tree…
Warning, the remainder of this post contains even more digestive content…
Meanwhile back in the pub: There was a bizarre conversation going on at the table next door to us, 4 people with rather LOUD voices discussing bowels & piles (I kid ye not). So in between tittering, Dave & I carried on our own perfectly silly conversation (in hushed tones) the likes of…
Me: I’m glad I don’t have to go round dusting all the bottles they have on the shelves in here…
Dave: I’m glad I wouldn’t have to stand behind you while you did…
At this point the woman at the bowels table started leaning over trying to ear-wig OUR conversation, she didn’t half make it obvious too. Turning away from the other boring bowel people & resting her chin on her hand, she did the eye contact thing while wearing a cheesy grin. So we deliberately carried on our own conversation (still in hushed tones), & she actually leaned towards us in an effort to tune in. Might as well have picked up her chair & parked her bum at our table… Thankfully she was totally oblivious to the fact that we were taking the piss, well I think she was…
More about bums: There was also a rather portly girl at another table with a builders bum, she was wearing jeans & at first glance one hoped the pink knickers above the jeans were enough to keep things dignified, but horror of horrors they were hanging down too…
Then a guy walked out in (a different) pair of jeans with a zip that went right across the back of his bum which gaped open & revealed most of his underpants. Thankfully there were no visible signs of any flesh there…
I came to the conclusion they would’ve made a lovely couple, complimenting each other nicely, except you wouldn’t want to be walking behind them anywhere… I’m sure there’s a link with the bowel people, perhaps it was a convention or something…
Well there you go, if we don’t bring the entertainment with us – it comes to us anyway…
While I was faffing about in Cyberspace last week I accidentally deleted my first blog post ever… So I’ve spent this aft piecing it back together like a jig-saw, & it’s turned out to be a real trip down memory lane. When I look back it’s living proof that everything was meant to be, there were just too many little decisions about the day we first set eyes on TT that could each have ended up with us missing the boat, (sorry).
Reet, that’s it, we’re off round tut pub for’t neet…
We watched a highly entertaining news item last night, I guess it was one of those “you had to be there” things. So I’ll do my best to convey why I was howling laughing for about half an hour afterwards & almost burst a blood vessel or two in the process…
Up to now I’ve seen a grand total of about 3 reports promoting how & where the “Big Society” is working “as planned.” It’s always been amongst a small village community full of rich people (probably ex bankers) with a lot of spare time on their agenda & some very silly ideas. In reality of course this can only be defined as a “Small Society” made up of bored inhabitants who are quite powsh & a bit dumb. In my opinion this doesn’t quite fit the criteria for BS, but then again, when it’s put like that maybe it does… So now we’ve got things in perspective this was yesterdays report, not word for word but close:
Under the Government’s plans for a Big Society, a group of volunteers in (a powsh village) have worked together to create a local shop for erm, local people. At this point the camera pans round to a porta-cabin situated on a 90 degree angle to the side of a house with a sign called “THE SHOP” above it. Roughly 20 “volunteers” were filling roughly 20 small shelves overnight (up at 4am ready for the grand opening at 9am).
9am: Once the official opening ceremony had taken place, the crowds came flocking in & the 20 volunteers struggled to cope with demand. They jostled with each other whilst running round to serve a grand total of 2 customers, both of whom appeared quite bemused by the setup. Towards the end of this intriguing report one of the 2 customers, (a young mum with a baby) struggled not to laugh as she exited the superstore… Then when the over enthusiastic reporter bunged a microphone up her nose & asked what she thought? She had no need to answer – it was written all over her face…
And on a similar note, I mean principle, [this is where I was up to last week before I blasted off on my mission into Cyberspace] it was announced that Bob Diamond, (the head of Barclays Bank & a cheesy grin) got a 6.5 million squids bonus on the same day that finance cuts for charities were to be increased further. And with ref to the canal system DEFRA announced more jobs will be cut at British Waterways, the irony being voluntary redundancies are being asked for…
PS: I wonder if Mr Bob Diamond was one of the “The Shop” volunteers? THE ultimate fat cat guilt trip…
Well it goes like this, sometime last weekend I decided Blogspot wasn’t the place to be anymore & I can’t even remember why now. So I’ve spent from then till today (whatever day it is) trying to set up a “superpower blog” on WordPress with enough bells, whistles & wotnots to rival the likes of the Queens Twitter account…
First of all I imported the TT blog to my free WordPress (.com) setup, it started off looking very promising, it even got all my pictures too which can be a problem (so they say). Wonderful as it seemed at the time, it soon lost any appeal. Choosing a template took ages, spoilt for choice there were very few that were any good, what a let down, & even worse, they couldn’t be customised (except background colours). Also, widget / gadget wotsits looked dull & boring & when I added them to the layout they either didn’t show up at all or overlapped each other, what a load of rubbish. I even paid for a flippin domain name too (plus an extra fiver for “full security”), which was quite ironic considering what happened further down this page…
By this time I was totally underwhelmed & discovered It’s crap compared to Blogger, but wait, I hadn’t done my homework proper cos only THEN did I find out that the “paid for” version of WordPress (.org not .com) is the one that turns you into the equivalent of an online celeb (fool). So after a bit of digging around for info I found an article describing the very complex way of setting it up, as I scrolled down the page it seemed like this was the answer, & I was transformed into a woman on a second surfing session… I printed off said article which I thought would be about 4 pages long & turned out to be 43 (!) but I couldn’t cancel the print cos knowing me I’d miss all the juicy bits, turns out there weren’t any… They even call it “The 5 minute setup” HA!
Next on the list was to work out how to go about setting up the superpower version when I’d already set up the pleb version (another 2 days of research wasted) cos there’s no info about transfers. It meant buying hosting & using the .org version of WP, rather than the .com useless one for us common as muck people. There was a list of Web Host providers that work best with WP, so I opted for the first one on the list (like you do) & my bank card was declined (what?) So I tried another Hosting website (& another) with my card being declined every time… This has never happened before so why now…? Then I got a phone call from my bank – uh oh, automated voice – crank call, Heth switches phone off. As a last resort I used Dave’s card & got the hosting all up & ready, this was it right? There’s supposed to be some software included that sets up WP for you on your own website, but nope, it wasn’t & it didn’t, however there was a nice coloured link for support which went to an URL that didn’t exist…
By last night I was on the brink of spontaneous combustion so I gave up, this morning I got another auto phone call from my bank so I rang back & found out that the first host provider (on the WP list) had tried to take 98 squids out of my account (twice), then 45 squids (twice) so my card was blocked which, as it turns out is good news cos they couldn’t rob me. However, I’m now waiting for a new card thru the post, meanwhile I haven’t got enough loose change to use a public toilet…
Thankfully I saw this as a big bold sign which said:
GIVE UP NOW WHILE ALL FACULTIES ARE STILL WORKING & RETURN TO BLOGSPOT!
So I’ve spent this morning cancelling the domain name, the hosting & my WP account (with refunds granted). It feels so good to have tied up all the loose ends, & to be able to just forget it & return to the Blog fold, phew what a relief. I REALLY got myself tied up in knots there for a while, as you may have noticed…
Oh and during that time Dave dropped a bag of coal on his foot & I pulled a muscle in my back while putting some washing in the washer. How did I manage that when I hardly moved? So we were also BOTH hobbling round like a couple of jinxed invalids while stressed out to the max, honestly the air was so thick with pressure it even turned my white wine sour…
So hello! Nice to meet ya again, no more www talk on here, this is a boaty blog not a bloaty bog…
Blogspot ROCKS!!!
Will blog about how I got my fingers burned later – the whole truth & nothing but the sorry truth… Thanks to everyone who’s stuck with this latest farce while I myself have been stuck TO it…
Well, in theory anyway…
Further to my post here about the cancellation, it seems the Liverpool boat Show is about to be re-launched (excuse pun). Yet after reading the article I can’t help but think the substitute will be somewhat of a “sunken ship in the dock” in comparison to the original plan, and it brings to light a couple of relatively minor questions like:
Hope they’ve got a good accountant…
Job Description: Volunteer Accountant required
Previous work experience: Circus juggler
Sounds about reet…
Last night we went bowling with Mark & Liz – our good friends & fellow members of the “No Hopers” quiz team (proud). We had a great laugh, went for a meal later on & then came back here to the local yokel pub for last orders… Another night to go down in the history of silly archives…
Mark in action, he won both games…
Dave in action – he didn’t win both games…
Liz & me choosing balls :-o
Liz in action…
Heth to Dave: “Sure you’ve got the right colour ball there luv…?”
Me in action…? Well I have to be different…
Meal at Nando’s later on – yummy…
Well that sums things up nicely – just don’t ask me about the scores…
Was supposed to go over us in an arc last night at 8.17pm & would be visible for “just one minute only” with the space shuttle Discovery strapped to its side. So we both lined up outside with the binoculars at 8.15pm prompt cos we didn’t want to miss it & stood there searching aimlessly for 10 minutes, (well c’mon it could’ve been late, a bit like a bus).
During that time we made a lot of false assumptions between us, ie: identifying various planes / stars incorrectly & shouting “That’s it!” {space} “ Oh no it isn’t!” etc etc. Anyway the upshot is it didn’t show up at all, NOTHING, what a let down. Perhaps they took a diversion when they spotted us, thought better of it & did a U-Turn. T’was a great night for star-gazing if you’re into that sort of thing, but not when it’s freezing, you’ve acquired a crick in yer neck & your binoculars are useless…
Coming up tomorrow: How to build a portable telescope out of 2 toilet rolls, some masking tape & a piece of string…
Wish I could say it was the boating kind, but after my prediction from yesterday coming spot on in Google Search I’m about to dive into the depths of Blogspot & change the template I’m using, I don’t want to, I like it the way it is, but needs must. Grr…
Any suggestions for which one to choose? Answers on a postcard please, but you’ll have to hurry up cos I’m a woman on a mission, oh & if I suddenly disappear into cyberspace don’t send in the Space Invaders I’ll wait for the next shuttle…
