I keep losing things

And finding them in the most unusual places…

In the past 2 days I’ve lost:

• A hairbrush
• A sock
• A torch
• A jumper

Now I can perhaps understand the sock walking away by itself, & the hairbrush being erm, airbrushed? Oh, & the jumper might’ve launched itself overboard in a last ditch attempt to prevent me noticing the hole in it…

However, not all is lost, the torch turned up in my handbag, ahh, the handbag, a woman’s bottomless pit of absolute rubbish (well mine is). If I sat here & made a list of every item that’s in there, it would take at least a week to compile…

I would’ve taken “wanted” photos of the missing items to post on here, but for obvious reasons that can’t happen… 

It could be a conspiracy, or is it (shh) the age thing, agghhh…

Which reminds me of this little ditty I’ve retrieved from the dusty archives on this laptop:

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder (AAADD)

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.  As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.  So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only 1 cheque left.  My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.  As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need water.  I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.  I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.  Someone left it on the kitchen table.  I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide  to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the  flowers.  I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.  Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: -

The car isn't washed

The bills aren't paid

There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter

The flowers don't have enough water,

There is still only 1 check in my check book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm  really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.  I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my email.

Do me a favour.  Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who the hell I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.  GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.  LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC...

BRILLIANT! Author Unknown – perhaps he forgot who he was…