Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Proposals

According to history, Feb 29th is the day that a woman can propose to a man, so I propose:

  • Cleaning the cooker
  • Cleaning the shower
  • Cleaning the windows
  • Washing the bedding
  • Cleaning the toilet
  • Doing the dusting
  • Doing the hoovering
  • Washing the curtains

There, that feels better, can’t wait for the reply…

And in other news: We’re now being stalked. Remember those 2 swans from yesterday? Well they’ve moved into the gap next to the boat. I opened the curtains this morning & there they were, sat waiting. Too late, eye contact had been made. I found myself bobbing down out of sight & shouting to Dave “hide quick!”

So there we were huddled beneath the window, tittering like a couple of kids. I can’t remember which one of us said “what next?” first. But after discussing various options (of which there weren’t any), we agreed to stand up, act natural, & not look out the windows. Have you ever tried not to look out of the windows on a boat? Takes some skill that…

Eventually they gathered their feathers together & moved on, but one of them looked back at me & said:

“I’ll be back, tee hee”

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

This can only happen on a boat…

I was sat here tapping out an email this aft when I suddenly heard another kind of tapping, it was rather alarming at first because keys were still tapping even when I’d stopped. Upon further investigation I found myself sat next to 2 swans, both of which were tapping on the jetty trying to get noticed…

So I took these through the window…

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Bottoms up old bean…

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Knowing full well what it was all about, we got the bread out. How’s this for motion capture? And yes Mr Swan did catch it…

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Well I was going to write about this today, the latest bad news on the boaters telegraph. But I can’t be bothered adding to it with what could only be a RANT about the situation, so see what you think…

Monday, 27 February 2012

Broken News: The lesser spotted robin comes out of hiding

Earlier today a geeky twitcher looking for a rare kind of robin discovered a robin of the human kind. Robbing Mr Robin was spotted wearing, beady eyes, a large beak & a wry smile. A representative for the local authority commented that a rare robin had been extracted extradited from the golf course after being allowed to finish the 18th hole. It’s reported that an attempt to escape was squashed quashed…

Photo courtesy of “Heth’s Images,”  

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Mr Robin was a model before becoming an actress & has been in hiding ever since. He admits mismanagement of the Inland Waterways, & in a bid to save face will give an interview to “The Sun on Sunday” on erm, Sunday…

A large chunk of the interview will reveal all about how Mr Robin’s bank account was hacked into, & huge sums of money were deposited on a regular basis without his knowledge. So of course it couldn’t be anything to do with Rupert Murdoch, as far as hacking’s concerned he’s got enough to cope with. In this case RM can be trusted to reflect the truth without any need for “enhancements,” this story’s just too bad… 

It was rumoured that Mr Robin has agreed to donate his fee to charity (gasp) but wouldn’t say which one. When asked about giving the dosh to a fledgling charity called CRT he uttered “No comment, what’s CRT?” 

Sunday, 26 February 2012

Spot the canal side pub

No I’m not going to do a class rating on pubs today, they’ve already got a star rating system that works well for them. Well I think it does, might not work so well for a 2 star joint though…

Some friends took us out this aft for Saaanday laancheon (Sunday lunch), unfortunately the mode of transport was by car but never mind. We went to the Ragley Boat Stop pub (4 Stars) (slap hand) & we didn’t even know it existed – must be all of 3 miles away. So if we turn left out the marina, by boat…

Tell you what though it was a yummy meal, in a gorgeous setting, with the sun shining down on the righteous (ha!), we even sat outside next to the canal. It was also very tranquil & peaceful, a bit like me then. And they had electric hook up for where the boats moor up – bring it on… I mean what more can you ask for in life in February? Except to have your boat moored up next to you rather than your car in the par cark car park…  

Today made us think about what we haven’ t discovered round here yet. Can’t wait to get out there, never had such luxuries on the Rufford canal! And that’s just one of the many little reasons we moved down here. They were all little reasons, just lots of ‘em…

Saturday, 25 February 2012

Her majesty’s waterways flotilla categorised

Well I was a bit miffed to read in Canal Boat magazine about the 1000 boat flotilla being divided into 10 “classes” of boats. So someone’s even invented a “class system” for floaters in the flotilla…

It wouldn’t matter quite so much about “class names” if they were appropriate & equal in status. After all a kayak is a kayak & a canoe is a canoe. However, according to Canal Boat mag, the boats representing the Inland Waterways consist of 40 narrowboats, 20 Dutch barges & 60 other craft. And (wait for it) are collectively called the “Tupperware Navy,” which in my estimation puts us all somewhere above a coracle in the pecking order…

Even the owners of Tupperware boats might be offended…

When it comes to the class system one can (sort of) understand her majesty & Kate going on a girly day out shopping for designer clothes at Harrods. Meanwhile, we, the underclass shop at Matalan for a bargain with a wonky seam…

And there are other examples of class system nonsense with regards to Royalty VS Plebs:

  • The Bentley VS the Vauxhall Vectra
  • The diamond studied tiara VS the plastic headband
  • An array of diamond jewellery VS cubit zirconia 
  • The throne VS a settee from DFS
  • The garden throne VS the plastic chair
  • The golden throne VS the porcelain kind
  • The private jet VS economy class on a crowded plane
  • Silver service VS a plastic tray
  • Finest quality salmon & cucumber sandwiches VS burger & chips
  • Room to spare VS a spare room
  • Mixing with the elite VS going down the pub (I know which I prefer). Dear your majesty you don’t know what you’re missing
  • Having a barge built for you for free VS bring your own category / class system
  • Garden party VS BBQ (burger & chips again)
  • Ladies in waiting VS queuing for the ladies
  • Coach & horses VS another pub called that
  • Security guards VS security gates
  • Free strawberry’s & cream at Wimbledon VS £12.50 for the rest of us

Listen missus, I couldn’t give a stuff about your class system, but please DON’T CREATE ONE FOR OUR BOATS…

PS: Canal boat magazine gives us a link for a “full list of boats” on their website, thing is it sends “one” straight to the home page. And I can’t find the list anywhere – they must be desperate for hits. Tip for the editor: If you’re going to provide a link, make it direct eh…?

Friday, 24 February 2012

Feathery friends & Fiery skies

This afternoon Dave’s intention was to clean the side of the boat…

He hadn’t got past watering the bow when the locals appeared from near & far. So he took a beak break before continuing what he started…

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WOW, said the swan…

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The odd bod of the bunch, looks like it’s made of plastic, till it moves – on it’s own…

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Last night: Fiery skies in February…?

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Yep…

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Steam powered boat President joins the Queen

Yes folks, the President has been invited to join the Queens Diamond Jubilee flotilla down the Thames…

Staffs County Council website quotes: “President, the world’s only surviving steam powered narrow boat and part built in Staffordshire, will represent the county in the 1,000-boat flotilla on the Thames as part of the Diamond Jubilee Pageant on 3 June 2012.”

Just hope this doesn’t put the owners under pressure then. (Sorry, when a puny pun appears it has to be expressed).

So where was our invite? I’ll have to have a word with her majesty about that. I’ve still got to send her a private message on Farcebook to remind her to:

  • Leave her pound shop handbag at the palace
  • Leave her 1970’s see through umbrella at the palace
  • Use waterproof mascara & 24 hour lipstick on the day.

Then when they wheel her off the boat / barge thing (down the gang plank) she won’t have any clutter to contend with. And she can smile at us plebs without any streaks…

Hmm, wonder if she’ll have to wear a life jacket over her Sunday best dress like the rest of us? Not to worry, I’m sure some designer would create a luminous Union Jack version, saves some decorum…

OR: The best option is to go with a hidden inflatable dinghy stuck to the bum of her throne. Strap her in, & if a thirty foot wave comes along, a security guy throws her an outboard engine so she can continue the journey bobbing along, champers in hand whilst strapped on the throne. Elf & Safety at it’s finest…

How the hell do I come up with this stuff…? 

And in other news:

This has been the temperature in the luxury conservatory this afternoon. It’s no wonder we sit out here a lot, open the back doors & the hatch & it’s an extension of the saloon…

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I’m sat out here wearing T-shirt, shorts & flip flops in an effort not to fry myself. However, if there’s no sun at this time of year, which there usually isn’t, well where we come from there usually isn’t. It doesn’t work the same, but it’s still warmer than outside, just not this warm! Ah well I’m not complaining, but it’s a shock to the system – mops brow…

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

I’ve killed the shower again

Yes, I remember the last time vividly – May 2010 it was, just looked it up on the blog because it wasn’t a profound enough experience for me to remember a date & time. However it was a rather alarming event because the connector thingy fell off & turned into a hosepipe intent on drowning me…

This time was different, we knew in advance it had a problem, each time I cleaned it more of the blue bobble wotsits fell off. Those things must be necessary for direction of flow. And over the past couple of weeks one has had to make several adjustments simply to make it aim water somewhere in the direction of oneself. The best way to deal with the problem was to do an Irish jig & hope for the best…

Missing bobbles… 

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The last straw was when I opened the shower door yesterday & it splurted a jet of water on a 45 degree angle directly into my right eye. I won’t repeat the words I shouted at the time, except to say the air turned blue, same colour as the remaining bobbles. And my right eye turned red, so it was a colourful experience if nothing else. Why is it always me that gets attacked? Silly question…

So we went to Midland chandlers across the way there & bought another…

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Fitted & ready for business, any attempts to piss me off (literally) will require a cunning plan that I’m still working on…

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

A helicopter landed in the marina!

Whilst innocently sat watching the depressing BBC News 24 this morning we heard what we thought was the police helicopter flying low over the marina – must have been chasing a naughty boat out on the canal…?

Then the TV lost it’s digital picture & went back to analogue, that’s when we realised there was more to it. So we rushed outside, as did everyone else, to see a helicopter landing in front of Midland chandlers! It didn’t half look out of place & it’s not something you see very often on a marina – if ever…

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  • Could it be Kate taking a break from her art work in Oxford, venturing further north (god forbid) to inspect the standard of sign writing?
  • Or was it Mr Camaroony announcing new reforms on Chandlers?
  • Or was it Robbing Evans looking for a bonus boat as a get lost goodbye present?

No doubt we’ll find out…

Later on Dave took some fantastic photos of the helicopter taking off & circling the marina, so here they are, or aren’t…

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This bit here is where they’re supposed to be, so think of a helicopter rising like a phoenix above a lot of boats & use one’s imagination…

HERE

AND HERE

AND HERE x 10

Unfortunately our fancy TAMRON telephoto lens (pictured above the flying helicopter photos) is playing up big style. In fact it almost got bazzed in the marina when we realised what had happened, or not happened {gutted}. It’s been causing problems for a while now with “Error 11 Clean contacts.” Ha! Been there done that several times. It’ll take one photo then that’s it. Switch the camera off & on & it will take one more. But today it wouldn’t even do that. All this started just after it’s one year guarantee had run out. (Dam typical). We’ve tried it on a friend’s camera, same outcome. And we use another lens on ours without any problems – so it’s not the camera…

It’s been well looked after too, but if they offered me a replacement TAMRON lens, I think I’d just RON RUN…

BROKEN NEWS: Just heard on the gripevine grapevine the helicopter story was all about a posh person coming to visit a moorer. Hmm, must invite the family down sometime… 

PS: Update on the weather situation, from yesterday’s gloomy news comes hope at last. The met office is going to install a new supercomputer which will take care of everything. It will be able to forecast floods, snow, ice, drought or a plague of locusts up to a year in advance – and protect us all long before anything bad happens…Good news that eh…?

But in reality it can’t do anything to prevent what it “knows.” So what’s the point of it when there’s no central infrastructure to divert water hither & thither through pipes & things. By the time they’ve built all that lot the supercomputer will be about 25 years old & too out-dated to deal with a burst pipe under a sink. Oh, & the tax payer is footing the bill…

Monday, 20 February 2012

Where has all the water gone?

Aha, I’ve just cleaned my laptop screen so I can see you now. Note: No water was wasted in the cleansing process…

I discovered December’s Canal Boat magazine at the back of a cupboard this morning. Just as I started reading about the Midlands Drought, (documented in December) this news item appeared on TV. Then on the local news I heard we’re “one of” the areas that’s been classed as “in drought” since JUNE last year. So why did they wait till now to hold a meeting about it…? We thought it was us at first, you know, things just get back to normal up yonder & we bring a drought with us…

In 2010, a total of 60 miles of the Leeds Liverpool canal was closed due to water shortages. In 2011 (only) parts of it were affected, with the state of the locks being the biggest deal. This year the north west seems to have had enough water for all of the UK…

So before we moved the boat to “Canal Central” in December, we knew all about water shortages causing problems last year in the midlands (& further south). But seeing as we both try to look on the brighter side of life, we dived in anyway & have no regrets…

Might have to get used to eating prunes though...

Sunday, 19 February 2012

Is this summer?

Ah, I remember it well, sort of, or perhaps not. Anyway I took these photos THIS AFTERNOON…

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A sign of things to come, or just a plane pie in the sky…?

Friday, 17 February 2012

Watch this

What men don’t realise when they suggest going looking round shops to the woman in their life, (but not buying anything). Is that the woman agrees with this simply because it gets her there. Then while the man is simply browsing, the woman pretends to do the same, whilst secretly searching out goodies to erm, buy…

Or there’s a similar scenario whereby, say, something needs repairing, the man knows all about it before setting off. In this situation, while the man’s focused on Plan A, (repair, end of). The female’s already on Plan B, (buying a new, better more wow one -whatever it may be)… 

This afternoon we ventured into Burton’s shopping centre for the first time. After having passed through the massive grotty industrial estate that surrounds the town centre many times, we weren’t expecting anything special. So it came as a nice surprise to find lots of big name shops. Blocked block paving for pedestrians throughout, & a large shopping centre. All set in a clean, contemporary setting with a good size car park nearby, out the way. End of unintentional advert…

Pause + Rewind to the “repair” scenario…

This (my) watch went on a “go slow” recently. I first noticed it about 2 weeks ago when “The One Show” started at 5.20pm. Since then it’s lost about 5 hours a day – or added 5 hours to a day whichever way you look at it. Either way, it’s been most confusing indeed…      

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Fortunately it was lurking in the depths of my handbag this afternoon when we were walking round. We found a “Watch Repairs” shop, I told the guy the problem & he checked the battery, said it was ok & “it must be the mechanism inside.” Dave wakes up: “Well can you sort that then?” Answer: “Yes but it’ll cost about £30.00.” Me: “Sod it, I’ll go & buy another.” 

So after going off to a jewellers & spending considerably more than the repair quote, (Plan B executed in style).

Here’s the smoother, more refined version…

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Note how it’s encrusted with real fake diamonds, & guess what, there’s a bonus, it can actually keep up with time. But I’ve discovered that having to ask someone what time it is for 2 weeks or so becomes addictive. I’ve asked Dave what time it is on 2 occasions since we got back…

So with time on my hands, a smile on my face (keep up) & a working watch on my wrist, I timed out with this lot:

Never enough time

Too much time

Home time

Half time

Full time

Playing for time

Time is a great healer

Time goes fast

Time goes slow

Time immortal

Pastime

Play time

Out of time

Back in time

Timeless

Found time

Lost time

Time waits for no man

Times tables

That time of day

That time of year

Time lapse

Home time

Bed time, Nighty Night.

Sorry, what time is it…?

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Blooming flowers & Broken glass?

Well after yesterday’s monologue of useless useful information, today is all about photos, warm & cold…

Macro Magic: Flowers in bloom…

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And broken glass ice yesterday…

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This little coot here took great delight in paddling up & down the many cracks…

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News of the day: All the ice disappeared overnight so we went round for a dumpout this aft, at long flippin’ last. Got too close to the cup runneth over stage for comfort. And I saw a big “THANK GOD FOR THAT” written on the roof after the big event…

Now there’s a thing, just out of interest, would it back up in the loo or, ahem, up the pipe? We’ve been close to the edge of reasonable doubt before, but never gone beyond it…

PS: Should’ve named this blog post BEAUTIFUL BLOOMERS & A BROKEN ASS…

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Well that’s a good start for C&RT

We received the ballot paper today, & the first thing I noticed was the apparent confusion as to which address to send the forms to…

Note the address on here…

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Compared with the one on the stamped addressed envelope…

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Not only is much of the address missing, but the post code’s different. Looks a bit suspect to me, we’ll be voting online…

Then there’s this, don’t ya just love it…?

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With the best of intentions – oh no it’s not…

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Heth’s Analysis of the candidates statements: I won’t say which order we voted, but I can tell you the key words / sentences that made us decide on a yea or nay. Some people can say it all in 150 words, others can’t…

It’s easier to list what Dave & me were both NOT looking for, the neglect of the waterways in the past is clear to all of us. But the future isn’t, so here’s the potential problems neither of us wanted to read about in the 150 word statements:

  • Anyone who’s worked for BW in a position of authority
  • Spouting qualifications & pasting over cracks in experience
  • Support for localised areas only, depending on circumstances
  • Limited knowledge of the canal boating lifestyle
  • Limited or no knowledge of how to drive a canal boat
  • Anyone London based where funding isn’t an issue
  • Anyone who thinks membership of boating organisations is more important than experienced canal boaters without affiliations
  • Anyone focused on yachts or sea going vessels

So here we go…

Barton, Patricia: Mentions localised involvement / 42 years IWA involvement – NAY

Blundell, Malcolm: Well this is a mouthful, quote “I was a professional leader, managing an intelligence analysis centre concentrating upon protecting the national infrastructure” blah blah. Couldn’t even be bothered quoting the remaining b*llshit. Sounds like he’s in the FBI. {Scary} – NAY

Bonello, Michael: Work experience & trustee of a different yet respectable charity, doesn’t appear relevant to CART. Although equality & rights would’ve been welcome while BW ruled the waves. Have you noticed how one of his sponsors is an “R Evans?” Everyone else’s first name is listed except the mysterious “Mr R.” Ha Ha Robbing you’ve been sussed, you’re cover’s just been blown apart – NAY NAY NAY

Brown, Christopher: All good stuff, even if it is a bit watery at first. “Endeavour to promote the interests of private boaters & be a voice for their views.”  sounds promising though. That’s a “reserved” – YES

Bryan, James: Opens with “I wish to represent the voice of the ordinary boater on the council, I think the maintenance of the canals & the costs to use them should be at the forefront of the Trust’s future plans.”  The rest is just as good  YES

Bullock, Paul: Employed for 10 years with BW & BWML, I was wondering just how high up the chain this guy was till I read that he’s fully “aware of the constraints placed on the operational capacity of a management system.”  Any doubt means a – NAY 

Caplan, Ivor: [But I want to call him Ivor Captain] Mentions localised canal interest, regeneration of lesser used parts of the system, (not a priority) major involvement in IWA – NAY

Cawson, Sue: Looks back in her statement, not forwards – NAY

Amendment: Have since spoken to Sue on the Boaters Manifesto group online. She presented a much better statement on there without intending to. A true boater representing the boaters & the waterways from our perspective – YES

Cowan, John: Does canal boating holidays & shares a narrowboat with 7 other people on a part-owned basis, long term boating experience may be limited – NAY

Dean, Robert: Has canal boaters at heart, I’d have to quote all of it  – THAT’S A YES

Farrell, Ann: Mentions localised canal interest, Check last 3 wasted words in statement, wants us all to learn Latin before we sail anywhere – NAY

Fincher, Alan: Now that’s more like it, someone with no regional affiliations, no associations & common sense without misguided self promotion. A genuine, dedicated boater who puts boaters first – THAT’S A YES

Gee David: Bricklayer to Building Inspector to Business Manager for NHBC, feels there needs to be input from the grass roots boater – THAT’S A YES

Harrison, Ian: Experienced & committed to protecting the future of the Inland Waterways, Years of engineering experience / working with Local Government, well, that’s a “reserved” – YES

Henderson, Clive [Thought he was a comedian] Oh silly me, HE IS!!! Chairman of the IWA & the BW Advisory Forum, you’ve got to be kidding! That’s an admission of total failure, with that kind of experience it’s – NAY NAY NAY

Hughes, Bernard [OBE] This one was difficult, a Devon County Councillor “with time available” but situated a long way from the main canal system. Might mean a lot of travelling. He seems dedicated, with interest in many areas of the canal system rather than local interest alone. Could’ve forgiven him being a member of IWA & various other organisations, but then I noticed his areas of involvement only covers the southern half of the system – NAY

Kelly, Frank: Too focused on one issue, & that place called London – NAY

Lee, Val: Respectable history of volunteering, not enough detail concerning what she has to offer for the future unless it’s promoting volunteering. This statement is unclear in its aims – NAY

Mayall, David: Brilliant statement, his first paragraph highlights that the voice of boaters (not affiliated with associations) goes unheard. It’s also good to hear that he has enough experience to understand some of what boaters want  – THAT’S A YES

Norris, Rex: Genuine respect for spending 25 years in the RAF, but cruising to only 4 different canal destinations is not many. Self employed running a small-holding & into building maintenance, time & energy might be an issue. Also, owning a business or 2 in Buckinghamshire, the boat being secondary to that, & the location. We need funding to reach further up than Watford Gap – NAY

Pearce, David: This started off bad & just got worse, with “wide experience in industry, academia, government & naval projects.” Nothing relevant there, even the latter has nothing to do with the canal system. Then “Whitehall policy group head & pension scheme trustee” is the real killer. Take the ee out of trustee & you’re left with trust issues. “St Pancras Cruising club commodore,” hmm, that’s a yacht basin. National chairman of AWCC, creditable (I think). “Closely involved with BW & DEFRA in discussions leading up to the CART” no mention of what he achieved, or didn’t. And the final nail in the coffin, a member of IWA & current secretary of BW advisory forum. Another joker on a GRAND scale – NAY

Peters, Stephen: Owner of a river cruiser based on the River Seven. Member of RYA, (Royal Yachting Association). Avon Navigation Trust (localised interest). RNLI Governor (now we’re at sea). Cruising & Seamaster club (back on the river without a canal boat). So, apart from being the Hon sec of Droitwhich Canals Trust in the 1980’s (long time ago). Where’s the connection with the canal system of today? - NAY

Pinfield, Bob: Appears to have been boating on the River Severn for over 30 years. (In the summer months). Treasurer of 2 yacht clubs, another RYA instructor, Relevance?? Knowledge & experience gained over many years relies solely on being a boater & there’s a contradiction – NAY

Robertson, Ian: Sounds experienced in leisure management but hasn’t specialised in canal boating, & by the sounds of things hasn’t ever driven a proper canal boat. Relevant strengths are too vague – NAY

Roper, Paul: Sound statement apart from the fact that he’s presently an IWA Trustee – NAY

Rudd, Stephen: Excellent statement for all of us, another one I’d have to quote all of – THAT’S A YES

Scott, Peter: States common sense, nothing more, but gives no idea as to how he would tackle the policies he lists. Chairman of 2 different IWA areas also means localised interest – NAY

Scott, Robert: Along with many years of boating experience it seems that “maintaining & improving the system for all boaters” is his top priority – THAT’S A YES

Smetham, Tony: Active member of London Boaters, carries belief that the way it works down there could be used as a template for the rest of us. Not a chance, each area has different needs & requirements, if only it were that easy! Beyond that there’s just one more paragraph with ref to leisure VS residential users which sort of contradicts itself. Shame really because his last sentence tells us he’s independent of all boating organisations, even so, it has to be – Nay    

Tidy, Andrew [Cap’n Ahab] Shows genuine dedication, “boaters must remain core to it’s operation” THAT’S A YES

Vinnicombe, Alfred: Sounds promising till the sentence “British Waterways have done a good job.” Dropped a clanger there, had to do a double-take when I read that, thought it had to be a mistake! – NAY 

Welch, Keith: A “long standing IWA Trustee specifically responsible for supporting waterway restoration.” (Oh dear). Personally I believe the existing crumbling canal system should be the only priority for “restoration.” Projects concerning opening up / restoring old canals (unless totally privately funded) can wait for more affluent times. Shame really because his main points are specific & relevant, but he’s looking outside the box – NAY

Basically canal boaters are the ones who know most about the inland waterways, & yes, how to manage them. Members of previous & present management have already proved their incompetence & greed in a spectacularly self indulgent way. So let’s not allow them back in, & hope that the damage can be repaired…

Monday, 13 February 2012

Yesterday I mentioned the Big Freeze of 2012

So is this the big thaw of 2012? Let’s hope we’ve seen the last of the ice for this year, it’s supposed to warm up a bit this week – double figures woo hoo. Besides, TT needs a dumpout…

The birdies look perplexed, I wonder if they have to learn to paddle again…

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One brave soul decided to “break out” round to the pumpout station, what a hero. It took him ages, but determination is everything…

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And the name of the boat is most appropriate seeing as it’s the first boat to erm, “GO” as it were…

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The swans appreciated EARLYBIRD’s efforts too…

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We’re going to leave it till Wednesday before embarking on the same journey, no doubt there’ll be a queue of standing traffic by tomorrow…

Sunday, 12 February 2012

My hybrid daffodils & a hybrid heat wave

I bought these miniature daffodils before the “big freeze 2012” set in. So they’ve had to be “hand reared” inside the boat most of the time, hence they’ve grown, but for some reason they’re about 3 times as tall as they should be…

Yesterday when it was nice & sunny, I put them where they’re supposed to be for a while…

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They should be dinky little things about 4 inches high, but the highest one is about a foot tall. There’s only me could create such floral oddities without meaning to. I mean if you’d tried to make them grow like this, it just wouldn’t happen…

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A far cry from these then, an early Valentine’s presy from Dave…

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What with the His n’ Hers cups last week, flowers on Friday & a meal at The Dragon the same night. Perhaps we’ll have to rename it “Valentines week for a couple of old young romantics.”

Back with the daffodils in the luxury conservatory for a moment, Dave splashed out & bought a luxury magnetic thermometer, [£1.95, Tesco Homeware's aisle] & no, it wasn’t yet another Valentines present to add to the collection. It was purely to monitor just how warm it gets in the lux con, I’ve told you before that as long as the sun’s showing it’s face, it gets really warm in there even in winter. So yesterday we tried it out…

Gobsmacked: 22 degrees inside, (back doors of the boat shut & situated in the shade so we weren’t cheating), meantime it was 4 degrees outside… 

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Today, without seeing any sun, it’s hovering around 10 degrees, still a lot warmer than outside…

Observation of the week: Have you noticed how the pecking order fizzles away when the ice sets in? All the birds seem to stay together with no arguing over “this bit’s mine so bugger off.” Nope, beaks at dawn doesn’t come into it when the water’s frozen, swans stand side by side next to inferior ducks. Ducks stand side by side with inferior coots. And the odd goose gets far too close to anything without a challenge…

Conclusion:

  • Many pairs of eyes are better than one when it comes to spotting bread being thrown (& noticed). If it means sharing then needs must. 
  • Conserve energy rather than slip slide around chasing each other doing the “superiority” thing – not worth the effort, or come to think of it the embarrassment of flailing about. I saw a duck doing an emergency landing this morning. It did a full 360 somersault & slammed into the bow of a boat. The first thing it did was look round to check no-one was watching.
  • The Dunkirk spirit flaps in.

Alternatively, find a bit of water where the ice has been broken, sit in it & hide from everyone else. Only step onto the ice to preen oneself now & again…

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And finally, if I find myself singing “OOO I wanna dance with somebody” one more time I’m going to take a vow of silence…

RIP Whitney Houston

Another wasted pop star life…

Saturday, 11 February 2012

Aha, now I know where we are

…With ref to the canal of course - thanks to the helpful comments on yesterdays post. Roger told me about Canal Plan online route planner. Great stuff, just make sure you know where you are & where you’re going first, erm, like we do…

Thanks to Brian for names of places on routes if we go “uphill,” that’s a left turn out of the marina. I’m amazed at how far we can get, even up to the Leeds Liverpool, or down onto the Leicester Arm of the Grand Union to Market Harborough. (Look out Keith & Jo)…

Meantime I think we can manage the other way (right turn out of the marina). Can’t go wrong, it’s less than 2 miles before the canal goes narrow at Horninglow Basin at Burton. With 3 nice pubs on the way, we could spend say, 6 days out there, stop overnight at each one on the way, & same again on the way back right…? To be fair to us intellectually gifted people, (har har), we Dave had directionality sussed from the start. But the devil’s in the detail & it’s true… 

Then there’s this:

Paul from Waterways Routes did a blog post re: TT & where we are in relation to the universe, nice little map of the marina in relation to the canal there too – thanks Paul…! [There’s a link to Waterways Routes homepage in my “Useful Watery Websites” section…]

Kev on the other hand pointed out that it’ll come in handy for finding our way back from any of the pubs in Willington – thanks Kev, (the King of useless factoids…)

So basically we’ve worked out that with such excellent websites available “Nicholson’s Guides” are now a waste of money. Already out of date when you buy them, not to mention the fact that you need a magnifying glass to read anything at all. Oh, I just did…

Thursday, 9 February 2012

Finding our bearings

Well it’s that time of year / kind of weather again, you know, the one where our thoughts welcome dreams of being out on the cut in glorious sunshine, ahhh. But alas we have to be patient. As they say up north at times like this, “Aye, is it cold enough for ya then?” Everyone must be able to see the satire in that old chestnut. [The great Peter Kaye would say “WHAT’s that all about?”]

To be politically correct & proper there can only be one answer, & that’s a big fat YES. However, I always answer with the likes of “No, when it gets down to minus 30 & frostbite starts setting in, it’ll be just right.” It always gets a laugh, well nearly always…

So as the heart meanders wanders towards boating heaven, the brain begins to create a plan or plans. However ours are a bit rough & ragged round the edges as yet – being as we’re newbies to the area… 

You know how they updated all the Nicholson’s Guides in 2009 with new editions? Well when we came here I bought the “Birmingham & the heart of England” one. Unfortunately though, when we had a look for the marina – it’s not on there. So taking into account that the marina opened in 2008, one would assume otherwise. But no, it doesn’t even get a mention of any shape or form, nada, nothing, neither does Midland Chandlers! Fortunately Willington does, so we can work things out from there, here, whatever. Which leaves us with the burning question as to where exactly are we on the canal? I mean a simple arrow with “YOU ARE HERE” would be nice…

I also had a look at Jim Shead’s “Inland waterways of England & Wales” map online which distinguishes broad canals from narrow canals, & includes navigable rivers. It also clearly shows where a wide canal suddenly becomes a narrow canal, eg: The Trent & Mersey. [So we’re obviously on the W-I-D-E bit then] confusing init…?

When it comes to navigation, it was eezy on the Rufford, straight up & turn left or right onto the Leeds Liverpool. Both wide canals which meet in a T shape, simples, can’t go wrong. Except for the fact that the 7 locks up to the Leeds Liverpool were the worst in the world. A jig-saw of different rusty mechanisms as paddle gear, with rotting lock gates & occasional breaches of canal water. Even against all those odds, (& ends) it was still beautiful. I’d recommend it to anyone who likes a challenge rather than plain sailing…!

Meantime we look forward to a challenge of a different kind, that of finding out where we can get to, hmm…

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Dave filling up with water

But not in the traditional way of course. All the taps are frozen, hence the hosepipe is redundant. Which means several trips round to the one working tap using big water container thingy’s just to put some in…

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And the next photo is when one of the handles fell off, did you hear him tittering? I did, & he has one of those dropping catching titters. Within the next few seconds he picked up another, the handle fell off that too. We were both helpless laughing as it gracefully slid across the jetty & tittered teetered on the edge…

You’re guaranteed a good laugh if Dave drops a clanger & starts tittering about it – it’s one of those titters that’s catching…

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Snow swept off the jetty 2 days ago, still frozen on the ice…

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TT’s frozen rudder down in the depths…

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Spot the swan…

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Ahh, there he is…

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Later on he came round here trying to get noticed…

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So we gave him some bread with water sprayed on it, aww…

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Dave also poured some onto the ice, they need water to be able to swallow properly…

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Reminds me of December 2010…

Oh & just to put the lid on things, (excuse), the poo tank is on amber alert just like the weather forecast. Thank goodness for facility blocks eh…?